Think about how it feels when a friend shares a personal story with you or you’re on a team working together seamlessly. That warmth you feel is a sense of Belonging. Humans are highly social animals. Social bonding produces the hormone oxytocin which is closely associated with trust.

In contrast, think about how it feels when you do not know anyone else in the room or a group you thought you were a part of gets together without you. Social exclusion activates the same centers of the brain responsible for processing physical pain. That old saying, “Stick and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me” is actually not true. Names can hurt just as much as and more than broken bones. In addition, when perceiving others as being different or as competitors, we use different neural pathways to process social stimuli resulting in a decrease in empathy.

This threat response is increased when we perceive others to have objectives that don’t align with our own. Even with someone you have history with, this response can be activated if there is a change in their behavior (i.e. someone who was very supportive shifts and becomes unsupportive). On a work team, e.g., this response can cause employee isolation and a reduction in cross-department communication, lowering overall productivity. Some behaviors to help minimize this threat response include:

• Providing necessary information about unknown persons to help reduce defensiveness. A simple example of this would be an ice breaker where each person is asked to name their favorite song. One small fact can help to initiate connection in a group.

• Engaging groups in fun/social events for social bonding.

• Using video platforms instead of just phone calls to allow for non-verbal access, to reduce miscommunication.

• Mentoring employees who might otherwise isolate from their team.

• Encouraging increased inclusion; demonstrating to all present that different perspectives will be respected and even celebrated.